MAKING A SCENE

PAM MUNSON STEADMAN, Playwright

PAM'S BIOGRAPHY:

*Pam's travelled extensively with her family, and has lived outside of London, England, and in Singapore, as well as in eight states.

Having taught elementary school for a few years before starting her family, Pam soon caught the acting bug and graduated into an arts career as a performing artist for children...aka "Lady Amuck." For fifteen years, she performed zany antics and told countless interactive tales to children and adults in NJ, Singapore, NC, GA, and VA.

She's also conducted workshops for adults..."Becoming YOUR Story!" This workshop is presently available only as a storyteller's handbook.

Please contact Pam for further information at:

amuckwriter45@yahoo.com

While living in downtown Savannah, Pam wrote and had published a trilogy of "Hannah Savannah" Books for Children, concerning a ten-year old with a mind of her own. She's also written humorous prose via a tiny 'bathroom book', "The Lives of the Wits and Famous!"

Through the Windmore Foundation for the Arts (VA), Pam founded the "Pen-to-Paper Writers." She was a board member of 'Black Box' of Asbury Park (arts incubator), Windmore Foundation for the Arts, as well as a board member with "The Little Theatre" of New Milford, CT.

Pam collaborated with a member of 'The Blue Man Group,' David Anania, penning her lyrics with David's music and arrangement: "Bobbing for Apples in a Tub of Moonshine." Travis R. Steadman created the title of the song.

"AND STILL MY HEART HAS WINGS is a screenplay penned from Pam's original story and is co-written with screenwriter, Aimee Lamb.

It was a finalist in a Cinequest Screenplay Contest.

I am a 4th cousin of "Miss Manhattan," Audrey Munson.

*Thank you to The Munson Foundation's, Edward Church, for searching my ancestry!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wN48WTDRQg

*ALL PLAYS ARE COPYRIGHTED AND MAY NOT BE USED WITHOUT PERMISSION FROM THE PLAYWRIGHT

**Several plays are part of a collection of Blue Moon/Have Script Plays, OFF OUR ROCKERS.

https://havescripts.com/product/off-our-rockers/

This book can also be found on Amazon.com

https://www.juliagenoveva.com/about-3 Julia Genoveva Productions (Manhattan)

https://bluepearltheatrics.com/about Blue Pearl Theatrics (Manhattan)

http://www.pantochino.com Pantochino Productions (CT)

MEMBER OF THE GRANGE PLAYHOUSE (Howell, NJ)

http://www.thegrangeplayhouse.com

MEMBER OF FACT THEATRE (Manhattan)

http://facttheatre.org

https://www.thesimonstudio.com The Simon Studio (Manhattan)

LIST OF PLAYS:

LADIES WHO LUNCH...AND LAMENT ...Three senior women and a daughter-in-law, gathering for lunch in a cafe, find themselves into deep, comical conversation concerning the woes of women’s ‘coming of age.’

CHARLIE WHO? An incorrectly addressed rain-soaked letter and package, delivered by a neighbor, causes much chaos between a husband and wife.

What is inside opens up a plethora of memories.

WITHOUT YOUR APPROVAL, A full length drama concerning estranged family members reuniting...well, sort of!

WHOLLY GHOSTS A full length farce concerning a playwright's dilemma. 'Produced (2013) by The Grange Playhouse (NJ) to a full house.

HOME FRONT: BETWEEN THE LINES is a full length drama. It was first produced at The Grange Playhouse in Howell, NJ in 2012 to a full house. It was performed by Passion Players at The Traco Theater in Tom's River, NJ (2013) It was also a finalist in the ICWP International Playwriting Competition, 2012 (Sweden)

KINGDOM! a full length musical for children and adults. Music/Arrangement: Ben Stiefel. Lyrics: Pam Munson Steadman. Produced by The Grange Playhouse (2014, NJ) ; StageWorks/Windmore Foundation for the Arts (2015,VA); through FACT Theatre's 'The Youth Education on Stage One Minute Play Festival Summer Shorts' at the Old Armory (Williston, ND); Pantochino Productions, Milford, CT...one of two original musicals chosen out of 30 submitted.

GOING TO THE DOGS (10-minute play) Produced Off Off Broadway through John Chatterton, as well as a 'reading' through FACT Theatre (Manhattan) for a weekend collection of short quirky plays.

WHAT ARE THE ODDS? (10-minute play) An older couple meet through unusual circumstances.

It had been presented as a reading with F.A.C.T. Theatre in Manhattan (Winter, 2012), and with The Provincetown Fringe Theater of Asbury Park, NJ (Fall, 2011) Presented as well by The Panhandle Players, FL.

FLOUR POWER (10-minute play) is a spin-off of the tale about "The Little Red Hen." It was presented through The Provincetown Fringe Theater of Asbury Park (2012) and The Grange Playhouse (2013)

AUTUMN LEGATO (10-minute play) An elderly homophobic encounters a young gay neighbor ...Produced and directed on February 22, 2016 in Manhattan by Genoveva Productions and by Blue Pearl Theatrics: http://www.bluepearltheatrics.com.

CUPID IS AS CUPID DOES (10-minute comedic play) recommended by Roger Hendricks Simon, Simon Studios, Manhattan/The Samuel French Playwright Competition, 2014.

TICKET TO HEAVEN early Gates.(10-minute play) A quirky comedy concerning hog farmers being interviewed concerning their method of entering them Pearly Gates.

IT HAPPENS! (10-minute play) A young woman who needs her kitchen pipes fixed, finds out more than she ought to when a handsome young plumber with a shady past shows up at her door.

RECIPES TO DIE FOR! (10-minute play) A cooking show host of GIMME SOME OVEN finds herself immersed in more than a in a few crime scenes!

OBITS AND PIECES (5-minute monologue) concerning a phone call between a man and his mother. Deals with a transgender friend who has passed. It has been presented as a reading in three states and through Talking Horse Productions.

AMERIKA (10-minute play) The year is 2047. A grandson finds an old essay in his grandmother's trunk. Trouble thus brews. A Dystopian tale.

THE HIT (Short play in progress) A NJ mobster finds himself hiding in a cabin in the backwoods of Appalachia. Culture shock is only the beginning...

WHO THE HELL IS COUSIN BOB? (Short play in progress) A famous actress meets a couple who knew her cousin, Bob. However, she has no recollection. A comedy of errors.

MAKING A SCENE ( 10-minute play) Egos go amuk during a tenuous, yet hysterical audition. Performed via Zoom by Genoveva Production Company in Manhattan, and The Grange Playhouse in NJ.

YOU ARE NOT ALL THERE! (10-minute play) A ridiculous spin-off of the 1950's TV show, "You Are There." Our emcee meets Napoleon, Joan of Arc, and a few pushy, poetic bystanders!

AS IT WAS (a 3-minute play) Liv and Esther, two senior citizens, reminisce concerning past lovers and husbands.

..AND STILL MY HEART HAS WINGS. A screenplay Story by Pam Munson Steadman. Screenplay by Aimee Lamb. WWII love story spanning several decades. *This screenplay came in as a finalist through the Cinequest Screenplay Competition.

STORYTELLING

Below are my original stories.

*All are copyrighted and should only be used with permission from Pam Munson Steadman.

THE MERMAID'S PURSE

BY PAM MUNSON STEADMAN

Once upon a time in the land of nags, pirates, treasure chests, devils, hills, ducks, marshes, beaches, lighthouses and much more, there lived a lovely fair-haired young maiden by the name of Melanie.

Melanie so loved going fishing with her father early each morning. The two of them would get up at dawn and walk down to the edge of the tiny bay where father’s fishing boat awaited them. As legend has it, Melanie was able to sing to the fish…her melodic voice reaching just about every type of fish there is in the ocean. It was in this manner that her father was able to fill up his tiny boat with many sea creatures and take them into the village of Manteo, where he sold them so that he could support his family. Other fishermen were often envious because they were unable to catch such an amount of fish. In fact, many worried about the ocean being empty of fish one day because of Melanie’s special talent!

Now it so happened that one summer’s morning, Melanies’ father was not feeling well. Melanie’s mother decided that he should just stay at home and rest for the day. However, Melanie knew that the family had to have fish to sell at the market, so she crept down to the edge of the bay while her parents were busily discussing the day’s events with a neighbor.

Knowing what to do, Melanie was soon floating out in the little boat with her net in hand, as well as her father’s trusted fishing pole. Within a minute’s time, a large mackerel soon popped up out of the water. Melanie was surprised, as she had not even begun to sing!

“How do!” cried the mackerel.

“Good morning, Mr. Mackerel. I have not sung as yet. Why do you now greet me,?” asked Melanie, readying her pole for the catch.

Before the mackerel could answer, something else caught Melanie’s eye. A most unusual item was floating in the water, and the sun’s bright morning rays caught its fine quality. It was a purse. Melanie watched it as it came nearer to the boat. Oh such a purse! It was made from the finest leather and had sparkling golden buttons about the edges of it. A very smart looking purse indeed! Melanie tried to reach out to grab the purse but it kept floating back and forth. She just could not get a hold of it.

Soon, a stingray popped its head out of the water, followed by flounder, yellow fin, and several small schools of fish. Melanie was very pleased at the sight of such an easy catch of sea creatures. She threw out her net this time and began to sing. Alas, nothing happened. The fish just kept swimming around her boat and the purse kept swishing back and forth in the wake.

“Why do you not just dive in and fetch this purse that has caught your eye,?” asked the yellow fin. “It will soon float out to sea and you shall never again come upon such a catch, dear girl. I would not be surprised it it is not full of pirates’ doubloons and pieces of eight. Perhaps a ruby or emerald is inside this prize.”

Before Melanie realized what she was doing, she stood up in her little boat and took a dive into the sea. Her arms had reached the prized purse and the fish began to murmur about what a fantastic catch THEY had just found! The fair maiden Melanie swam out into the chilly waters with the sea creatures and was never seen again.

Legend has it that if you sit along the docks in Manteo in the early morning, you just might see and hear a fair-haired mermaid smiling and singing you melodic songs. There is one catch, however. This mermaid has a pretty purse that she carries around her shoulders. She will wait until a coin is tossed into the water. If you have a fishing pole or net with you however, you just might be rewarded handsomely!

WHY SANTA’S BELLY SHAKES EACH CHRISTMAS A Comical Christmas tale for Children by Pam Munson Steadman Santa has so many lists that he has to read and check all year-round in order to make Christmas just perfect. First of all, there is the “Naughty or Nice List.” Then comes Mrs. Claus’ new cookie recipes. Of course, all of his elves have to make sure that there are food supplies coming in for the reindeer. They also have to completely make sure that there are no parts missing related to the billions of toys they must make and distribute every single Christmas. Can you imagine the chaos each year? Oh, the stress! Now comes our tale of woe. For you see, this year, there was a very big mistake made when a new elf was hoping to make Santa’s important Elf List. In fact, the mistake was so big that it was shameful! Nils the Gnome is Santa’s head elf. He has a huge black marker pen that writes carefully...in script, mind you...each and every elf’s name on a long white sheet of paper that is carefully rolled into a humongous scroll each season. Well, as it happens, a tiny but portly new elf, who goes by the name, Wiffenpoof, was so very excited that his very name was going to be on this fantastic Christmas list of elves! When it was his turn to tell Nils his name, he proudly spoke out, “My name is Wiffenpoof. Nils began writing down the letters “W-I-F-F-E-N-P-O-O-...ACHOO! Nils sneezed so hard that he fell right out of his puffy red chair. Hard! “OUCH!,” he yelled out in pain. “Oh my, are you okay?” asked all of the other elves, scrambling to help him up off of the floor. “My side hurts, and no, I am not all right. I need some chocolate to cheer me up. Also, a nap!, Nils demanded. Poppy Nose Elf spoke out, “Do you want milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, orange chocolate, strawberry chocolate, mint chocolate... “STOP!,” cried out Nils. Then he paused. “Hmmm...a sample of all might do the trick. Bring them to my napping chambers please.” Wiffenpoof helped the other elves lift up Nils. He felt terrible that a fellow elf was hurt, but the sound of chocolate was so divine! Perhaps he could taste some of the flavors if he was a good enough elf. He so prided himself for now being on Santa’s famed Elf List! When it came time to direct all of the new elves to their stations, Wiffenpoof hurriedly fixed his elfin hat and stood tall. Poppy Nose Elf pointed to a group and directed Wiffenpoof over to it. “This is the toy-fixing group. You shall fix all toys that are missing parts, new elf.” “My name is Wiffenpoof,” Wiffenpoof reminded him. “Whatever...just do your job,” commanded Poppy Nose. So, our Wiffenpoof joined the other elves in fixing many toys... There were dolls without heads, so the elves had to create new heads to be attached. There were trains without whistles. There were books missing pages. There were car and train tracks without cars and trains. There were puzzles with pieces missing. There were pop-up toys that would not pop up. Oh dear. What a job these elves had in front of them. And they did perform beautifully! The other groups of elves were busy decorating Mrs. Claus’ cookies that smelled scrumptious! Wffenpoof secretly wished that he, too, could have been part of this elf team. Oh, those luscious orange sugar cookies! A few of the elves were popping cookies into their mouths, but no other elf dared report them! Before Wiffenpoof knew it, he was ordered to fetch reindeer feed from the huge green cupboard across from Mrs. Claus’ oven. Poppy Nose told Wiffenpoof to go down the mountain and tend to the reindeer. “You can stay in the barn tonight and make sure the reindeer have blankets on them. A winter storm is heading this way and they cannot freeze!” Now our Wiffenpoof knew nothing about tending to reindeer. He didn’t even know where the big barn was! “I just told you,” cried out Poppy Nose, biting into a fresh orange sugar cookie. “It’s down the mountain! Take a sled outside and slide down on it. It’s your turn to get good and cold, you know. We all can’t stay here in the big house. We share our work. Get moving!” It occurred to Wiffenpoof that a few of these elves were a bit on the crankier side. What was the matter with them anyway? Here was Wiffenpoof, a brand new elf, willing to work hard to please Santa; yet the other elves were far too busy stuffing cookies into their mouths and playing with toys. It just was not fair! However, Wiffenpoof did not want to disappoint the great Santa Claus, of whom he had not even met yet. So, he braved the strong wintry wind and soon found himself a sled. Zooming down the mountain, with his sled was so slick and quick, it almost crashed right into the big shiny red barn! Wiffenpoof could hear the reindeer inside arguing about just who was going to be the leader of the pack on Christmas Eve. Very quietly, Wiffenpoof entered the barn. There must have been forty reindeer inside! Suddenly, they all turned and stopped to stare at Wiffenpoof. This elf had no pails with him. Wiffenpoof had forgotten their feed! Wiffenpoof knew right away by the look upon the reindeer faces. So, with wintry winds biting at his face like chunks of ice, our little elf trudged up the snow laden high hill. He sneaked into Mrs. Claus’ kitchen, opened the green cupboard, and loaded several pails with reindeer feed bits. Uh oh! As soon as he got outside again, he realized he had left his sled down the mountain! “I am not a helper elf after all,“ he muttered to himself. “Oh, how I wish I could just sample a cookie or two. I am so hungry! “ Wiffenpoof slung the pails around his neck and his belt, and slid down the mountain on his backside. It was the easier way. Again, he opened the barn door. The reindeer started to cheer! Food, glorious food! Our elf scattered the food bits about the hay, and each reindeer ate all of it with glee. Wiffenpoof started to leave, but one of the reindeer bumped him on his rear with its nose. “I’m guiding Santa’s sleigh this year, you know!” Wiffenpoof frowned. “But you don’t have a light on the end of your nose. How can you see in the dark?” The reindeer just laughed. “If you are referring to Rudolph, he’s not going to be guiding sleighs this year. I am. He’s caput! “What does ‘caput’ mean,?” asked Wiffenpoof, disappointed to hear this. “Rudolph is done...finished!,” explained this reindeer. “It’s time for a new lead reindeer, and I’m it!” “But all boys and girls sing about Rudolph each Christmas,” argued Wiffenpoof. “It will disappoint them all.” “Who cares? “ this reindeer muttered. Suddenly, all of the other reindeer started to shout out together, “Don’t listen to Roland Reindeer He’s a trouble maker. Rudolph just injured his right hoof. Santa is making sure that he will still be the leader of the pack.” Before Wiffenpoof could say another word, the barn door opened. And, what to his wandering eye should appear, but Santa himself! He was carrying a very large scroll, and he smiled and waved at all of the reindeer. “Hello, reindeer,” he shouted. “Are you ready to roll this Christmas Eve?” “YES, Santa!” they all cried out in reindeer speak.

Santa grinned, rolling out his scroll, looking now at Wiffenpoof. “Hmmm. I see your name is... Wiffenpoo. WIFFEN-POO? WIFFENPOO? HO HO HO!, bellowed Santa, laughing so hard that his belly shook. The reindeer also started to giggle...that is, if reindeer really know how to giggle. Wiffenpoof lowered his head in shame. “Santa,” he explained,” the elf that started to write down my name sneezed so hard when he got to the end of it. I think he forget to add an ‘F’ at the end. My name is WiffenPOOF” Santa stopped laughing...for a minute...and soon put his big strong arm around our elf. “Oh, dear elf. I have not had a good laugh in such a long time. For you see, Christmas season wears me out. I sleep and live on left-over cookies. I try to please so many children, that I sometimes forget that I need to tend to myself! You are one of my best workers, so it is said. Please do not think that we are laughing AT you. Instead, we are laughing WITH you. So, smile, my dear Wiffenpoo...poof! HO HO HO!” Wiffenpoof’s mouth started to turn up at its corners. Did Santa really believe that he was a hard working elf? How absolutely wonderful! Wiffenpoof actually thought that nobody had noticed him because so many of them were busy; although, a few were nothing more than cookie-monsters! “Say! How about you come and help me steer my sleigh on Christmas Eve, Wiffenpoo...HO HO HO...WiffenPOOF,” suggested Santa to our weary elf. “You...you mean you really and truly want ME to help you on Christmas Eve, Santa,?” asked Wiffenpoof, totally in awe now. “Of course I do! And, Roland Reindeer, since you like to stir up trouble, you can help our Wiffenpoof” Santa replied. “Let’s get their blankets on them first.” Roland darted a look at Santa and then at Wiffenpoof, hanging its head now. “I’ll be your pal, if you will be mine,” Wiffenpoof suggested to Roland. Roland smiled, sheepishly. “You’re on.” “SO! We now are Christmas ready, are we not?,” asked Santa. “ Come up to the house, now, my dear Wiffenpoo...WiffenPOOF...HO HO HO! Mrs. Claus has put aside several cookies and chocolate goodies for you to taste.” And on that note, Wiffenpoof hurriedly trudged back up the mountain, hand in hand with Santa Claus. What an honor! Each Christmas, when the name ‘Wiffenpoo...POOF is mentioned, Santa laughs so very hard that his belly shakes...and shakes...and shakes...like a bowl full of jelly! HO HO HO!

GET LOST PATRICK!

BY PAM MUNSON STEADMAN

Patrick O’Shea took to flying one day

Over Ireland he floated away

“Oh Paddy! cried Ma

Your Brothers and Pa

Are afraid you’ll fall in Galway Bay!”

“Dear Mama, it’s fun

Why I might tough the sun

And rock on the moon’s crest tonight.

As for me brothers and Pa

It’s all their fault, Ma

‘Cause they told me to ‘Go fly a kite!’ ”

HOT STUFF!

BY PAM MUNSON STEADMAN

She chose to bake in the sun.

'More to the point of 'well done'

While ignoring the lotion

She came to the notion

That burning one's flesh is not fun!

A WAVE AND A MARINE MEMOIR

BY PAM MUNSON STEADMAN

She walked into the college cafeteria avoiding his glance. He was cleaning off neighboring tables and she pretended she didn’t see him. He knew better though.

The Duke was playing “Sophisticated Lady” on the radio in the background and this tall, skinny, basketball jock thought it appropriate indeed. He had always liked brunettes. This one reminded him of his favorite actress, Jane Russell. She had an edge to her and he wanted to find out more. She liked to present herself as not being interested.

Things were about to change, he thought to himself, as she pushed her long hair to the side while feigning a quick peek his way.

“Can I get you anything at all, sweetheart” he asked with a boyish grin and a wink.

“Nope. I’m just fine, thank you,” she retorted, thinking him extremely forward, even though a little bit of her sort of enjoyed his arrogant mannerisms.

A few months later, she, who had not an athletic bone in her body, would show up each day at the campus tennis court with borrowed racquet in hand. Sometimes, he would be out there furiously slamming the ball, and at other times, he would be talking to Sally, the chunky blonde at the end of her dorm hall. “See ya doll,” he would shout to this Sally, knowing full well that the brunette was watching and hearing his every word and moves.

His roommate came back to the men’s dorm one afternoon with news about the jock’s brunette interest. “Hey, Mel. Your brunette is going out with me tonight.”

“You might have a date with her, pal, but I’m the guy she’s going to marry,” the jock told him forthright.

The Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, and lives in the nation and world suddenly changed forever.

The college jock did manage to have a couple of dates with the interesting brunette, and his roommate’s chances were nothing more than history.

The plan was to get up to Pittsburgh and sign up for the Army.

All of his buddies, who usually joined him in following The Big Bands on weekends, were heading back to their home states and becoming the start of The Greatest Generation.

While in a line forming for Army recruitment, the jock was somehow redirected into the line signing up for The US Marines. He shrugged, and a proud Marine he became.

The brunette told her friends…and in later years, her extended family…that the real reason she had gone to college was to “be where the boys were, of course!” So, this brunette followed the jock. He was assigned to Quantico, VA, and she was given nurses’ training at Bethesda Naval Hospital as a Wave in the Navy. The two of them often met on leave in DC, pounding the pavement and enjoying one another’s company.

The jock called the brunette suddenly one afternoon and informed her that she had only one chance to answer his question. He was “shoving off” for The Pacific and he wanted her to marry him. She never gave it a second thought…although years later, she often told folks that maybe she just might have been a wee bit hasty in her decision. But the war was on and the likes of The Dorsey Brothers, Glenn Miller, and other romantic bands, tore away at many a heartstring.

They eloped, found a seedy little hotel (the only kind they could afford at that time), sent telegrams to their parents, and brought in a bag of “White Castle” hamburgers to munch on for their wedding night. Oooops! The jock promised he would be right with her. First of all, he needed to hear Johnny Boyer on the radio with the sports announcements of the day.

And so it was……the jock was injured in a jeep accident in Okinawa and missed the first six months of his daughter’s life.

Their marriage lasted for more than sixty years and produced four children, seven grandchildren, and 6 great grandchildren.

Both Mom and Dad have passed, but their memories linger…

Dad was always his happiest singing Sinatra tunes and reminiscing about Big Bands and sharp brunettes on college campuses.